Forgivness

Mar 11:25 And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses."
Mar 11:26 [But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your trespasses.]

Lord you know what is in me. But still, I confess the dark clouds in my heart that are close to bursting open in a torment of lighting and thunder. Heal me Lord. I said I wouldn't beseech you. Can I be so close in your presence and not ask? You will heal me without my plea? You want me to call out to you! Lord, I hear your voice. I know that, because you loved me first, you came for me. I'm so blessed. It was you pulled me out of the abyss and gave me back myself.

You know this thing that is heavy on my heart. You see how hard it is for me. Everyday I fail to keep my life holy. Yet, you wait for me. You're always there. I want to be a light, and yet I brawl with the darkness of hate, and disappointment. Do you know that I'm so weary and I've lost faith in humanity? Even you speak often of your disappointment in humanity. Is this how you feel, oh Lord? Is this what you want me to learn?

Oh wonderful Lord, you forgave me. How dare I say that I want to live in your light when I'm engulfed in shadows? Do you know that I'll fail? Do you know that Lord? Can you help me? Should I doubt that? Heavenly Father how I love you. Is that good enough?

Just by realizing who you are and how you love me, I'm healed. I give you my love, my heart, my being and you fill me and restore me. Lord, you have answered my prayer today. Yes, I can…… forgive. It's the forgiving that heals my heart and brings me back into your light. How I long to always be in your light. Do you know that I'll always struggle?

Your voice is rustling through the tall pines as they sway to and fro. The birds are chirping out your love songs of contentment. You gave me this carpet of velvet green grass to lie down on. The butterflies are dancing to the music of the babbling brook. I see them, Lord, the tiny butterflies on the soft white flowers. How could I have believed they were gone? They were there all the time. I just didn't see them. It's like your love for me. Butterflies are everywhere. It was you who put them there for me.

I praise you Lord. You've granted me peace. How I love you! I will walk with you always.

That which tortured me has been replaced with little white flowers and fluttering tiny butterflies.

Thank You God!

3-21-2000

From the Darkness

Holy God, faithful one, redeemer and Father, hold on to me in my darkness.  Show me the narrow trail, your way, to eternal light and peace. Guide my steps and let me walk carefully by the direction of your saving grace.  Give me a measure of faith, so great that no evil or sadness can prevail over it.  Let my sorrow on this earth claim my joy in Heaven.  Show me the wisdom of the Ancient of Days. Teach me to bare my cross and give me strength for the day and peace in the night.  Let the soft rays of the sun shine upon my face and let me relish in the beauty of your everlasting love. Let me do good in your eyes, let me bless you, that you would look upon me and say she is mine. 

1Jn 2:8 At the same time, it is a new commandment that I am writing to you, which is true in him and in you, because the darkness is passing away and the true light is already shining.

Recharge Me Lord

2Pe 3:18 But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen.
Recharge me Lord, I am empty before you, on my knees in anguish, I desire to be close to you. Open the rusted gate, bring me into your lush garden and care for me with your love.  Shower me with your righteousness, give me grace and humility. Correct me and guide me on this journey to your kingdom, give me strength that only comes from you and your power.  Grow me as a flower in your field, rain on me and refresh my soul.  Speak to me with direction for my wayward heart, and steer me back to the path that leads to your glory.  Impart to me your wisdom, clear the fog in my mind that makes it so hard to see and vanquish the worthless cares of this world that grieve me so.  Keep my eyes set on your holiness and the world that is coming, life everlasting, and eternity in your presence.